I have found over the years that a lot of
mental energy can be expended wishing circumstances were different which is
really kind of a dumb way to live. So I’ve adopted a phrase to help me redirect
that energy. When I start to wish things were different I say (often out loud),
“Well, they aren’t different so work with what you’ve got.”
It’s a pretty good technique because it moves
my focus to things I CAN change.
Think about people you know who complain
a lot. If you evaluate their complaints they almost always rant about stuff
that they can’t change. What a waste of energy. Now think about people
you know who are perpetually optimistic. Do bad things EVER happen to them?
British author Alan Alexander Milne
(1882-1956) creator of Winnie-the-Pooh et al, really nailed this complaining mindset
in his character Eeyore. Eeyore is gloomy, despondent, and downright depressing
to around.
There are Eeyores in your life, I know
there are and you can’t change them (They must choose to change themselves). But if you find yourself drifting in the direction of Eeyore-ish-ness it
need not be a permanent state of mind. Oh, no. Once you accept that your only
option is to work with what you’ve got then discouraging situations don’t look
so bad.
After all, when you consider the
alternative can you possibly work with what you HAVEN’T got?